Okay, so for any of you guys that know me, I was at some point pretty immersed in politics and the activist community.
I took a break to practice self-care.
That is okay to do. For anyone who is marginalized and has become actively involved in their community, if you ever become too depressed or it becomes a burden -- it's totally okay to take a break.
It was becoming too much for me.
I hated getting online, because everyday there was a think piece on a contemporary issue. Someone with a platform was systematic as hell. A white person said something racist about tofu. This, this, this, and that. I just wanted to focus on shows, get online, and get a respite from all this shit.
I felt like it was taking away from my hobbies and getting in the way of my relationships with people.
I will say this. Although, this is something that is constantly talked about in inclusive feminism. You cannot always cut off people who are problematic. The solution isn't always to cut off people. You just can't especially if they are family.
">:((( DON'T PUT UP WITH TOXIC PEOPLE."
You're right. You shouldn't. But sometimes, people are in situations with people they are financially reliant on. Or sometimes, that toxic family member is their ONLY family member. I am a firm believer that just how people were socialized to be racist, sexist, whatever systematic bs they were fed and socialized into, that they can also be socialized to change and see things from a different perspective BUT they have go to want that change or be opened to it. Kinda like an alcoholic problem. lelelelel
Then I'd hear shit like "WELL, IT'S NOT MY JOB TO EDUCATE WHITE PEOPLES."
No, you're fucking right. You shouldn't have to create an educational channel for white people. Like, I wholeheartedly agree, that giving every white person you cross a history lesson is exhausting, because I HAVE DONE THAT. But, I do believe trying to educate your loved ones is something you might want to give a shot at.
It's not easy, but they are the people you love. My brother is white with a small percentage of Native American. He's my adoptive brother. He'd come to me with questions. I'd answer them. He'd learn, but then come back with more questions. I was always glad to help him. The thing about my brother is that he was willing to learn. If something didn't make sense to him, he'd ask questions, because he wanted to learn. I didn't snap at him either. He never snapped at me. I think that mutual respect is very important in this whole journey to deconstruction. I think it's also important not to forget to put aside who we are.
I feel like part of the reason the community has increasing number of suicide rates is because they end up isolating themselves and become immersed to the point, that they are no longer enjoying what makes them happy, and constantly want to analyze.
OH, I GOTTA BE MAD AT RACISM AND HETEROCIS SEXISM 24/7.
No, you do not.
You don't constantly have to be mad at the world. I know discovering this shit and having a community where your feelings are for once validate -- where no one will question or be abstract about a microaggression is refreshing. YES, thank you. This feels great.
There was a post I made on one of my blogs about centering white people in our liberation. It doesn't always have to be about d@ wH1t3 m@N iz d@ d3v1l. Which means that we can build, create, and discuss without constantly talking about who oppressed us. PART OF DECONSTRUCTIONS is remembering that we existed before we were colonized and we will exist after this too. So, this means that being happy in this fucked up world in itself is revolutionary.
I got tired of Native Americans constantly shitting on me for trying to enjoy a meme or animu, because ">:((( YOU THINK THIS JOKES AND GAMEZ HOW DARE YOU WATCH GOTHAM IN A TIME LIKE THIS??" I'm pretty sure that in our lifetime and in the next, it's always going to be like this, and I'm not going to forget to be happy along the way.
In fact, the people who burnt me the most during my time in -activism- was not white people or Asian people who hold "more privilege" than I do. It was Native Americans and Black people that burnt the fuck out of me. I understand that our bodies were the basis for industrialism, but be aware that a lot of these activists aren't even mad about racism. They're mad about not being the one in power. They want to kick white people off the throne, so they can sit on that throne, and exert the same power as white people. A lot of these people use SJW lingo while never trying to address their own privileges, because they DO NOT want to lose that privilege. It's just a huge hypocritical mess.
Half of these women in the SJW community are dating white men, but will turn around and throw fits because their own men won't "pick them". Excuse you. But I am not about to throw Native American men under the bus, because you haven't address your issues with self-hate. You're dating a white man, because you love him (I really hope this is the reason why you're with this person) or self-hate. It's one or the other. Quit saying saying that the men of your own race are the problem. Yes, we can recognize sexism in our community, but I have a problem when you RACIALIZE that sexism.
My point is that when you start in these communities, there a strong wave of happiness because your issues with racism are validated for once, but please, make sure you do not become depressed in the process. These communities can be VERY toxic and very self-destructive. Sometimes, their suggestions are not the emotionally or financially better for you. Half of the time, these people are bitter as hell.
That's why I took a break from it. Native Americans with deep-rooted self-hate issues tearing each other apart. Black people ranting on about anti-blackness, but refusing to accept that they contribute to Native American erasure by claiming they were the original Americans.
No, I am just not done with that shit.
I will return to the community with a lot of energy, but it was important for me to step back and process this shit.
Take a break if you need it.
TLDR; self-care, SJW problematic af, self-hate in the guise of social justice, take that break
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